I lived in NYC during the late 70’s til the mid 80’s.
It was an amazing adventure for me. I meditated on the subways, using the rhythm of the wheels to support the deepening journey inward which supported me in the density of population.
Connecting deep into the granite, acknowledging the trees.
Choosing the light and watching what happened.
I would spend subway rides looking at people in the car I was in.
How would I perceive that person if they were someone I loved - an aunt, a brother, a dear friend, an inspiring teacher - and how would I respond to their presence?
It was a fascinating time, sustaining me there without the mountains where I usually feed myself.
Life loves life, life loves being alive, self hatred is a mistake. When the anguish overwhelms you, when old unloved portions of yourself turn up, offer them up to the universal (multiversal) compassion.
The multiverse’s fabric is love - let it in.
Do not excuse behavior.
Heal the unloved places that create it.
Approach the difficulty and suffering of life with compassion that includes yourself and a trust in compassion.